Moving Right Along

16-17 weeks

At some point in the past week I developed what I consider an official bump. I woke up one morning, and suddenly I had an actual little bump. My belly doesn't go flat when I lie on my back, and the bump sticks around (rather than coming and going like it did before). That last picture of my so-called bump (per my husband and a few co-workers) was taken at 13 ½ weeks. At that point, and until this week, I’ve really just felt like I’ve been post Thanksgiving dinner all the time. As far as looking obviously pregnant, I’m still not there. Some people may wonder if I’m pregnant by looking at me, but for the most part I still look like I just ate a few too many of those Thanksgiving dinners!

17- almost 18 weeks

Munchkin seems like s/he is growing a little bit more every day. I still haven’t felt any movement yet (at least as far as I can tell), but that should happen any day now.

I’m SO very happy to be with child, and I’m extremely grateful for the chance to experience pregnancy, so I thought I’d be immune from some of the negative emotions/feelings that can go along with pregnancy. I was a tad naive.

1. Mood swings. Those are no joke. I can be fine one minute and then crying over a cereal commercial the next.

2. Weight gain. You’d think that pregnancy would be one time in a woman’s life when not being able to button one’s pants shouldn’t cause grief. I mean…there’s a very good reason for it! But finding that I could no longer button my last pair of pre-pregnancy jeans made me slightly upset. I got over it, but I was surprised that it bothered me at all.

3. It's all happening too fast! I had a sudden feeling that my child was growing up too fast recently. Munchkin's not even out of the womb yet, and I'm already feeling like time is flying by. Our big ultrasound at 20 weeks is coming up soon, and Munchkin will be "half cooked" by that time. How did that happen? My mom assures me that I will come to a point in this pregnancy where I want to hurry things along, though!

Again, I'm thrilled to be pregnant, and I feel great 99.9% of the time. Luckily, Edward/Alex tends to be laid back and take-it-as-it comes so he balances me out nicely. Just keep the poor man in your thoughts and prayers for when he has to deal with that 0.1% of the time when I freak out a bit!

15 1/2 weeks

Munchkin and I had a good check-up a few days ago. It was a quick visit (not much to do at these), but it was nice to know that things are still going well. This was the first time that I got to hear the heartbeat. We've seen it on the sonogram, but I hadn't heard it until my last visit. It took the midwife a while to find it (Munchkin will likely enjoy hide-and-seek), so that made me a bit nervous. Once she had the doppler in the right spot, though, I heard the little whooshing loud and clear!

This stage of the pregnancy is very frustrating for a lot of women. I can certainly understand why. My regular clothes can be uncomfortably tight, but I'm not pregnant enough for maternity clothes. I don't look obviously pregnant...just thicker than usual.

I'm actually enjoying it right now. While nothing is ever guaranteed, I finally feel "safely" pregnant. I have most of my energy back, and I don't have a heavy belly to haul around. Munchkin is nice and safe, snuggled in the womb (and I have him/her all to myself). Also, it's perfectly acceptable for the baby to go by a name like "Munchkin" right now. Once the baby is born, however, he/she will need a real name (harder than I though it would be)!

The next big milestone is feeling the baby move. This can happen anytime in the next few weeks. Don't get me wrong...I'm certainly looking forward to it. However, I'm really not trying to hurry the pregnancy along. I'm sure that I'll look back in several years and wonder how in the world my child grew up so quickly. And, I'm sure that moment will come along sooner than I expect. No need to hurry things along!

Boo!

Yes, I did. 15 weeks and feelin' silly.

Snap....Crackle....POP!

So, my husband and a few coworkers claim I have a bump.

I know how big my uterus is at this point....and I can assure you that that bump is not all baby! Unfortunately, it's mostly just my pudge being pushed out of the way. However, sometime in the last week I became unable to suck it in or control-top it into shape...so I think I'm going to have to start owning it as a bump.



I wouldn't say I'm showing yet, especially in most of my regular clothes. Edward/Alex and a couple people at work who know I'm pregnant are the only ones who claim they see a bump. I haven't had any strangers or patients ask me if I'm pregnant. Which means that, as I expect, I'm not really showing yet. Or, they follow the Golden Rule (thou shalt not ask a woman if she is pregnant unless her water breaketh on your shoe).

Shhhh....I have a secret....

Come a little closer...i'll whisper to you...

I'm considering using cloth diapers.

Why all the secrecy? I keep getting the side-eye (or even better, rolled eyes) if I mention that this might be an option. I know it sounds a little crazy, but cloth diapers aren't what they used to be. As sexy as those old plastic pants were...there really are much better options now.



I already feel like I have difficulty balancing the responsibilities and demands of being a wife, medical provider, co-worker, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, friend, etc. And now I'm going to add being a mommy. As a side note, Edward/Alex would probably say that a lot of these demands are more perceived than real but that's a whole post of it's own. So, why would I want to add washing cloth diapers to my to-do list?

I do think it will be a bit more "green." We're not the militantly green, but we do what we can. Do we go as far as to use "family cloth" (Google it) as opposed to toilet paper? No. We recycle, reuse, and try not to be wasteful in general. And we try to make earth friendly changes little by little.

Admittedly, however, I think that the cost savings is the biggest motivation. Disposable diapers are super expensive. Even when you add in the cost of washing cloth diapers...it's a huge savings.

If anyone really wants me to have a non-practical reason for using them...they make those little tushes looks so cute!

Seriously, though, they're a lot easier to use than they were when Edward/Alex and I were in diapers. If we get the all-in-one style, each diaper change wouldn't be much different. Instead of emptying the diaper pail outside in the trash bin, we'd take them down to the washing machine. There would be an extra step when it's time to wash a batch, but it's not like I would be washing them by hand in a creak and scrubbing them on rocks.

And, we wouldn't be obnoxious about it. We'd likely use disposable when we were out and about, or when we go out of town to visit family. Also, we assume that most daycare providers won't mess with the cloth styles. We're okay with that....we could use them at home and still save some money and some landfill space. It may not be perfect, but it's something.

We'll see. I'm still doing my research.

You may roll your eyes now.

Giggle, giggle, snort

Usually the ticker to the right calmly explains what is going on with the baby. For example, it might state, "your baby's bones are forming," or "your baby's eyes are open."

Today, it exclaimed, "the tail is gone!"

For some reason, the simple little exclamation point made me laugh. It was like the ticker was just waiting to make this proclamation.

Obviously, we'd love Munchkin even if s/he had a tail. But I'm glad that s/he won't have this hanging over his/her head.

....or more specifically, off of his/her backside :-)

Hamsa

That's has been my mantra (literally) for the past couple of days. My nurse says this whenever our day becomes particularly crazy and I've started to pick up the habit. Try it one day....breathe in with a big Ham (hahm)...and breathe out with a big Sa (sah)...don't you feel relaxed? Yeah, me neither. Never hurts to try, though. It worked for the gal who wrote Eat, Pray, Love but she also spent four months studying yoga at an ashram in India so I think she had a head start on the whole meditation and relaxation thing. Anyway....

I've been really nervous about this appointment. Edward/Alex, on the other hand, has been cool as a cucumber and has been telling me that I have nothing to worry about. It's a good thing he is the way he is. We'd be in a whole mess of trouble if we were both neurotic.

Today was our first appointment with our midwife. Edward/Alex was slightly traumatized by part of the exam (I don't think he had seen a speculum before), but overall it went really, really well. I thought they would just listen for the heartbeat with the little hand-held doppler, but they actually performed a quick ultrasound to confirm Munchkin's due date. S/he is growing a few days ahead but looks great! This time s/he was flipping and flopping all around and waving those little arms all over the place.


Top picture: Head is to the left, Munchkin is facing you. Elbows are bent with the hands by the face. Legs are curled up and you can't see those very well. If you turn it sideways it looks a bit like the painting "The Scream" by Edvard Munch.

Bottom picture: Mid-flip. Munchkin is twisting on his/her side with arms pointing downward.



We're not technically out of the first trimester, but we felt comfortable giving our parents the go-ahead to start spreading the word. At this point, there really is no perfectly safe time to tell people, and all looks well at this point.

The midwifery group I will be seeing delivers in the hospital. While I'm not against home births when appropriate, Edward/Alex and I didn't see that as a good option for us. Also, midwives aren't legally allowed to attend home births in Maryland.

We chose to go with the midwives primarily because we wanted the pregnancy to be treated as a natural process, not a medical illness. It was enough to go through the fertility treatments. Now that I'm pregnant, we want to trust that my body will do what it's supposed to, when it's supposed to. Or at least we'd like to try to take that approach!

The midwives are trained to know what's normal. When anything strays from the normal, they call in the OB to evaluate the situation. So...we're not going to be left hanging if things don't happen as they should. But, unless there is need for concern, I don't need anyone turning up the dial on my anxiety unnecessarily.

I have never given birth so I have no way of knowing how I will respond to the pain of childbirth. That said, I would like to try to give birth without an epidural if possible. To be perfectly honest, it's all about maintaining a shred of control. If I don't have to be numb from the waist down, I can chose to labor while walking around, in the tub, on the birthing ball...whatever seems to work. If I have an epidural then I'm stuck on my back in the bed. If I need the epidural, the midwives don't have a problem with it. But they also aren't going try to pressure me into getting one.

Lastly, if I do have to have a C-section, it will be because Munchkin or I need a C-section in order for the birth to be as safe as possible. It won't be because I'm being pressured into it. When I was on my OB/Gyn rotations, I saw a lot of OBs pushing for C-sections simply because they wanted to get the show on the road. I'm really hoping I don't have to have a C-section, though. Again...it's about maintaining at least some control. I do not see myself taking kindly to being strapped down to a table while someone surgically removes my baby without me being able to see the birth.

Regardless of how Munchkin comes into the world, the midwife will be there to support us during labor, and will also be there to help with bonding and breast feeding afterward. It really does seem like the best of all worlds, so I'm happy with our decision.