I'm on day nine after ovulation. Five to go until I have my pregnancy test. I was surviving the 2WW more gracefully than I had in the past...until today.
The first 2 weeks of a cycle are busy and involve numerous blood draws, ultrasounds, and needlesticks. But, at least I know what's going on every few days. Now I just feel untethered, as if they simply let me loose in the world to try to grow a baby!
I think I became upset today because I really don't have any signs that lead me to believe I'm pregnant. The fertility folks tell us that each cycle is different, and each 2ww can come with different symptoms whether it ends in a positive or negative blood test. But I was hoping I'd feel something. I did feel different during my last 2WW, which ended in a pregnancy. One minute I count it as a bad sign, and the next I convince myself that my symptoms last cycle were because I had a pregnancy that wasn't destined to last long and that my body was reacting to that.
At the end of the day, I'm just being whiny and I realize that. There are so many more pressing problems in our lives and in the world. But today, infertility and trying to have a child seemed to suddenly consume my mind.
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