A beautiful little flicker...

We got to see our baby today! I was so, so very relieved. I tend to be a bit of a worrier, and being in medicine can be a curse when you know a little too much. Ed/Alex reminded me that I did have 3 blood tests that were risinge normally...it's not like someone waved a handful of burning sage over my belly and declared me pregnant! We'll likely tell our parents and siblings this weekend. I thought about waiting until we see the ultrasound next week but I don't think I can wait. Besides...I need to start thinking more like my husband and less like my neurotic self.



Both of the grandmothers-to-be put in orders for twins. I hope they're not too disappointed!

Right now, Munchkin looks a bit like a chicken nugget with a heartbeat. But, he/she is measuring right on track and has a nice, strong heartbeat at 126 bpm!

We have another ultrasound next week, and then we'll graduate to the OB. I'll be treated like a regular pregnant lady at that point!

And...cue morning sickness

People who are sick tend to also smell. It's not their fault. Certain illnesses just have a characteristic odor. Add the occasional patient who puts on too much perfume, decides to eat a clove of garlic to get rid of whatever ails them, and someone's smelly feet...and working in a medical office becomes a minefield for a newly pregnant lady with "morning" sickness!

It isn't horrible. In fact, in my crazier moments I worry about it not been "bad enough." I feel like I'd be really encouraged about how Munchkin is doing if I had some rip-roarin' hurling going on. I do feel pretty queasy most of the day, and I've had a few moments where I thought I might puke while in the room with a patient, but it really could be much worse. For the most part it just wears me out to try to function and deal with the queasies all day.

As puny as I feel, I'm thankful to be in this position. I know it's temporary and all for a good cause!

I have to admit that I've been becoming more anxious as our ultrasound date nears. I'm praying and trying to stay positive. Once we get a good report on a first ultrasound I think we'll feel comfortable telling our parents and siblings.

Way to go Munchkin!

I went in for beta # 3 this morning. It was 4167!! Another excellent rise. Munchkin may be grounded already for all the cramping that he/she is putting me through. But as long as it just means that Munchkin is burrowing in and getting cozy I can deal the discomfort.

We go in for our first OB ultrasound on 8/31. We're hoping to see a nice healthy baby (looking like a bit of a blob at that point) with a little heartbeat.

I don't know how I'm going to handle going more than 1 week without going in to make sure things are okay!! Most women never have all these blood tests and early ultrasounds so I know I'm being "spoiled." I guess it's fair enough for what we went through to get pregnant, though!

Once we have a normal ultrasound we'll likely tell our parents and siblings. We're going to try to wait until 12-13 weeks to tell our extended family, friends, etc.

Wow!!!

My second beta was over 1800! That's an excellent rise! I can't remember the exact number because I started tearing up and became so emotional that I wasn't paying attention. I've had some cramping for the past few days. While I knew this could be normal, the only experience I have is with an early miscarriage. Since I had cramping early on with that....well, I was pretty scared. The nurse obviously can't guarantee anything but she reassured me that the cramping can be completely normal. I was so relieved.

I go in for another beta in 2 days, and if all is well they'll schedule us for the first ultrasound.

Holy Beta Batman!

So, I went for my first blood test yesterday. It was a couple days later than usual (17 DPO, or days after ovulation) since I was out of town on day 15. They expect it to be above 100 on day 15, and it should double every 48-72 hours. So...I was hoping for something around 200.

The nurse called and said my beta was 836!!! I have to admit that I let myself get excited at that point. I'm still cautiously excited...but very happy. The number being higher doesn't really mean anything...it's really all about the rise. I couldn't help but feel proud of our little Munchkin, though, when the nurse said it was a "really healthy beta." Edward/Alex seemed excited when I told him, but also a bit cautious.

I go in tomorrow for my second beta...here's hoping for a nice healthy rise!

Back from Alaska!

So, we're back from a wonderful belated honeymoon in Alaska. We had an absolute blast! We even took a spur-of-the-moment flightseeing tour over Denali (Mt. McKinley). Edward/Alex was quite surprised by the fact that I wanted to do it so badly. I'm terrified of flying, and I've never been in a puddle-jumper, but I really wanted to take advantage of the beautiful day and the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Turns out that we had a Munchkin along for the ride! I took a pregnancy test yesterday when we got home (and another one this morning) and they were both positive.

Oddly enough, I can't claim to be excited yet. Because we had an early miscarriage a few months ago, I don't think it's going to set in until I see some rising betas, a heartbeat on the first ultrasound, etc. I'm staying hopeful, though. Since we were out of town on the Friday when I was supposed to go into the office for my blood pregnancy test, I have to wait until Monday. The office doesn't have patients come in for betas on the weekends because they're so busy making sure that all the monitoring appointments, etc are taken care of. So, I'm hoping for a nice healthy beta on Monday, and then a nice healthy rise when they repeat it 2-3 days later.

Pregnant Women are Smug

I saw a video on YouTube with this title. It involved two women singing a song about how smug pregnant women can be. I don’t actually think all pregnant women are smug…but every once in awhile my jealously gets the better of me and I start resenting anyone with a baby bump. Last week I was especially mad at the world. I found myself in public areas scoping out the midsections of women like some gals scope out shoes or handbags. If I spotted the tell-tale bulge I thought, “is it really necessary to flaunt it like that?” As if someone who could give birth any minute could hide it from the rest of the world!

Before there is a lot of outrage from women who are or who have been pregnant...I know this is irrational. I’ve been pumping myself full of hormones and they won’t let me off the infertility roller coaster. I’m admittedly a bit all over the place emotionally. I also don’t think that couples who conceive children easily are any less in love with their child than I will be. But there are days when I’m just not the nice person I’d like to be.

Yesterday we had another IUI, so I'm feeling more hopeful again. At least we're at a point again where it's possible that we might get pregnant. Also, we're headed to Alaska for a belated honeymoon in a few days so the trip will help me keep my mind off of all things baby-related (at least to a certain extent).