Let's Hear it For My Husband

I guess if you're reading a baby blog, you don't really need a warning that things may get a bit sappy...but here's your warning just in case. I may get a bit mushy in this post!

I just want to sing my husband's praises for a bit. It seems like daddies-to be end up taking the back seat during the pregnancy stage. No one is asking them constantly how they are feeling, rubbing their belly, or offering to pamper them. Then the baby comes, and the new mommy suddenly has a new love in her life. This new love doesn't take the place of her love for the daddy...but it's safe to say that an awful lot of time and attention needs to go to the new baby.

I had a "my-emotions-got-ahold-of-me-before-I-knew-what-was-happening-and-I-LOST-MY-MIND-over-nothing-kind-of-moment" a few days ago. You see, I ordered a book for Ed/Alex that was written for partners who were planning on trying to help the mommy through a medication-free birth.

****Side-note...I hate it when people say "natural birth" when referring to medication or intervention-free births. I have yet to meet a woman who gave birth to a vinyl baby, or who had a virtual birth. It's all natural. And, I'm also not making judgements about any particular type of birth. I'm hoping for a med-free birth primarily because I'm afraid of losing what little control I have left during the birth process if I have an epidural and can't feel my legs, walk around, etc. ****

Anyway...I ordered this book. Ed/Alex and I had a conversation about whether he thought we should hire a doula. This was something I had never considered in the past. But, the more I read about it, the more I thought it might be worth at least looking into. I figured that a doula would be able to be an advocate for me if needed (taking this off of Ed/Alex's shoulders), and could help Ed/Alex anticipate my needs (taking this off of my shoulders). In the end, I wasn't really convinced that it was for us, but I brought it up to Alex while we were on the plane to NC for Christmas. (Yes...I had a captive audience. Judge me if you must). At the end of the discussion we both agreed that we wouldn't go the doula-route, but that he would do some reading before the birth.

Back to the book...Ed/Alex picked it up and asked how he could possibly remember everything in that book when it came time to remember it. This is when I LOST MY MIND. I'm shamelessly blaming it on the pregnancy hormones. I immediately decided that he wasn't willing to put in the effort, didn't understand what was involved in giving birth, etc.

Why am I sharing this?

For one, I feel like I should be honest. It's often difficult for anyone who faced infertility to admit that pregnancy isn't all rainbows and puppies all the time. While I'm really enjoying being pregnant, and really believe that I'll miss it...there are moments here and there where it's less then comfortable. And while I haven't been one of those crazy pregnant women they depict on TV, I have had a moment here and there where I just lose it. I've never been perfect, and pregnancy hasn't suddenly turned me into a saint (despite the miracle that may be taking place inside me).

Secondly, I want to point out that none of my concerns had to do with my perceptions about my husband's ability to support me during birth. After we talked it out, I realized how hurt he was when he thought I was saying he wasn't up to the task. Unfortunately, he has been in the position to be an advocate for loved ones in the hospital in the past. He's quite good at it. I've seen first hand how he can navigate the hospital and get answers/results when needed. I think I have just been trying to de-medicalize birth to the point where I didn't want him to have to be an advocate for me or the baby.

I also thought it was interesting that he is more concerned about researching how to be a good parent. He's not at all worried about the birth! I have no doubt about his ability to be a good parent...I have never once thought that he needed to study up on parenting skills!

I have absolutely no doubt that Ed/Alex will be a wonderful birth partner and fellow parent. He's been my rock since we became a couple, and I don't expect that to change. He was there to help me navigate roller coaster that was trying to conceive, and I can assure you that it was no small feat! He has also been incredibly supportive throughout the pregnancy.

I'm not always easy to live with, but he hasn't run away yet! He's able to see past my faults and love me regardless....sounds like he's ready to be a daddy to me!

He felt the baby kick!

Daddy-to-be felt the baby kick today! I've been feeling a kick here and there that I swore could be felt from the outside. Everytime I'd call Ed/Alex into the room (often while he was in the middle of doing something else), Munchkin would suddenly go all quiet. As soon as my husband would leave the room, Munchkin would give me a couple more big kicks just to play with my head.

Today after dinner, I felt a really big kick and grabbed Ed/Alex's hand. He gave me a look that said, "that's cute, I'll humor you but I doubt I'll feel something." Lo and behold, the young'un cooperated and gave him a few hardy "Hello Daddy" kicks.

Happy 2011

Happy New Year!

Ed/Alex and I had a busy but wonderful holiday season. We traveled down to North Carolina to spend Christmas
with my folks. I have really missed my family and it was wonderful to see everyone in one place. I miss them all the time, but there's something about being pregnant for the first time and away from my mommy that makes it that much more difficult! The "boys" are becoming young men and I miss getting to hang out with them. This Christmas was wonderful because all of us kids were able to be home and spend some time together with our parents.

We went to the Grove Park Inn to see the gingerbread houses on display, ate a LOT of good Southern food, played Christmas Bingo (a borrowed tradition from the Bremners which was a BIG hit), and just had a good time in general.

My Aunt Stephanie and Uncle Rich were even able to come by for a visit, which was a nice treat.

It snowed on Christmas day, making it unsafe to for anyone to try to get down the hill, so Grandmama and great Aunt Katherine stayed the night. It was quite cozy with everyone in the house but my mom was eating it up. She just kept

smiling at everyone and saying how much she liked hearing all the noise!

After we came back, I went right to work the next day and had quite a few days! It's always extra busy around the holidays and it wore me out! I also had my 24 week midwife appointment, which showed that Munchkin and I are doing well.

For New Year's Eve we headed over to the Bremner's for more family fun and games. As you can see, my mother-in-law is serious about her holiday hats. Once I get ahold of a copy, I'll post a picture of all of us in Santa hats. Please excuse the picture of me...I was worn out and barely made it to midnight!

Now that the holidays are over we have to get back into our usual work and home routines. There is no rest in sight, though! Ed/Alex wants to paint Munchkin's room, and at some point I really need to start getting ready for the little one's arrival! I feel great right now. This trimester has been wonderful so far. I actually feel better than I did before I got pregnant! I need to take advantage of this and get a lot done.

Happy New Year to everyone! I hope that 2011 is good to you!

PS...sorry the pictures are all over the place. I can't get the formatting right.

22 weeks!

This baby is really growing up too fast already! I just realized we have about 4 months until this kid arrives. Eeek! Seeing as we really haven't done much beyond researching and talking about what we need to do before then...we need to get a move on it!

For the last 7-10 days Munchkin has become more and more active. Just one week ago, he or she was really active when I was reading before bed. The sensations felt less like little pops and more like definite kicks, rolls, and punches! I have to admit that it was pretty wild. I tried to see if my husband could feel it but I think that's going to take a little longer. There are still days when the baby seems pretty quiet. Munchkin still has a fair amound of room to move around in there without me feeling it.

I have to admit that it's nice to have those little moments where I can feel the baby but no-one else is the wiser. It's like sharing a little secret with a friend. I feel the baby most often when I'm lying or sitting still, especially during/after a meal (this baby, after all, is 1/2 me, which means that it will always perk up for food). I feel a little cheated if I can feel the baby move while I'm at work or someplace where I can't just sit back and enjoy feeling the little one squirm around in there!

At this point my belly is starting to look more obviously pregnant. It still depends on what I'm wearing, but more and more people are outright asking me when I'm due. I did have one patient the other day who kept staring at my belly during the visit. She finally asked, "Did you just have a baby?" I told her that we were expecting in April, and she said (with a big smile on her face), "oh....I wondered what happened to you. You got fat!" English wasn't her first language, and she was visibly happy for me so I didn't take offense. I actually thought it was pretty funny.

We're headed home to North Carolina for Christmas and I'm really excited to see everyone. I miss them so much! I can't wait for some good down-home cooking, either!

Letter from the Little One

Well hello!

Mommy and Daddy have been saying how lucky I am to have so many friends and family who are excited to meet me! I have to agree...I'm going to have a lot of love coming my way. Good thing I have a lot to give back!

I'm getting bigger and stronger every day. Mommy is starting to feel me more often, and thankfully she's not as likely to confuse my little kicks for gas! She says I feel more like little pops of popcorn in her belly now. I have to admit that I'm much less insulted by this comparison. I'm working hard so that I can kick hard enough to say hello to Daddy, too!

Mommy has been singing to me. Y'all....she's tone deaf. But I appreciate the effort! Hopefully I'll take after my daddy in the singing ability department. They've both been talking about what it will be like when I'm born, and they seem excited (and maybe a little nervous). I wish they'd talk about names more often, though. I mean, "Munchkin" is all well and good for now but I hope I'm going to get a real name when I'm born!

Mommy and Daddy had fun watching me during the 20 week ultrasound a few days ago. Mommy said it was still hard to believe that I'm really in there! Even seeing me wiggle on that screen seemed a bit sureal to her! I'm the only person who knows whether I'm a girl or a boy. And like a nice little lady or gentleman...I'm keeping it to myself!

It sounds like you all really enjoy the holiday season. I'm looking forward to my first Thanksgiving and Christmas next year. For now, though, I'm going to stay put. It's warm and cozy in here, and I'm not quite ready to brave the great big world just yet. Can't wait to meet you all in the Spring!

Love,

Munchkin

Thanksgiving

Each year, Edward/Alex and I alternate between our DC and NC families for Thanksgiving and Christmas. This year we're having Thanksgiving with the Bremners and Christmas with the Hardings. While I miss my folks terribly when we're not in NC, I'm very fortunate to have been welcomed so warmly into the Bremner family, and I enjoy getting to experience holidays with them, as well.

We have so much to be thankful for. Obviously, we're thankful to have Munchkin on the way. Last year at this time, we had just seen the reproductive endocrinologist who confirmed what we had been expecting...that we were going to need some assistance if we were going to be able to conceive. Even though we needed more help than we originally thought we would need, we are now expecting a little one!

I do want to make it clear, however, that we have a great deal more to be thankful for, as well. If we weren't expecting at this time we'd still have an awful lot of blessings to count.

1. We both have wonderful families who love us, and whom we love back!

2. Our family and friends are healthy.

3. Edward/Alex and I love each other very much. Even though we may manage to drive each other a bit crazy from time to time (show me a couple that doesn't), we have a deep love and respect for each other and we are ultimately best friends.

4. Edward/Alex and I have secure jobs in a time when a lot of folks are having a very difficult time finding work. Anytime I catch myself wishing I didn't have to go into work early on a Monday morning I remember how blessed I am to have a job love, and to have a job at all.

5. We have a roof over our heads, food on our table, and clothes on our backs.

There may be things we'd still like to have or to achieve, but ultimately we have what we need... and then some.

I hope all of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Oh....#6: I'm glad that I don't have to have my GTT (glucose tolerance test, screening for gestational diabetes) until after the holidays! I'd hate to fail it and be told to hold off the carbs during Thanksgiving and Christmas. It would be especially difficult going to NC in December and not being able to partake of the grits, bread, potatoes, dressing, cookies, etc!!

The Quickening?

I know I just posted yesterday, but I believe I felt Munchkin moving around early this morning. I woke up around 4 am, and as usual had some difficuly falling asleep. Suddenly I felt a little flutter below my belly button. It was brief, so I wasn't too sure at first, but then it happened again. It felt a little heart palpitations (but obviously in a different spot), or like a goldfish took a quick lap around my belly.

It kept coming and going, but it's so brief that it's really hard to say. I felt it again a few times this morning after waking up. So, I'm about 70% sure that it was Munchkin in there saying hello!