Let's Hear it For My Husband

I guess if you're reading a baby blog, you don't really need a warning that things may get a bit sappy...but here's your warning just in case. I may get a bit mushy in this post!

I just want to sing my husband's praises for a bit. It seems like daddies-to be end up taking the back seat during the pregnancy stage. No one is asking them constantly how they are feeling, rubbing their belly, or offering to pamper them. Then the baby comes, and the new mommy suddenly has a new love in her life. This new love doesn't take the place of her love for the daddy...but it's safe to say that an awful lot of time and attention needs to go to the new baby.

I had a "my-emotions-got-ahold-of-me-before-I-knew-what-was-happening-and-I-LOST-MY-MIND-over-nothing-kind-of-moment" a few days ago. You see, I ordered a book for Ed/Alex that was written for partners who were planning on trying to help the mommy through a medication-free birth.

****Side-note...I hate it when people say "natural birth" when referring to medication or intervention-free births. I have yet to meet a woman who gave birth to a vinyl baby, or who had a virtual birth. It's all natural. And, I'm also not making judgements about any particular type of birth. I'm hoping for a med-free birth primarily because I'm afraid of losing what little control I have left during the birth process if I have an epidural and can't feel my legs, walk around, etc. ****

Anyway...I ordered this book. Ed/Alex and I had a conversation about whether he thought we should hire a doula. This was something I had never considered in the past. But, the more I read about it, the more I thought it might be worth at least looking into. I figured that a doula would be able to be an advocate for me if needed (taking this off of Ed/Alex's shoulders), and could help Ed/Alex anticipate my needs (taking this off of my shoulders). In the end, I wasn't really convinced that it was for us, but I brought it up to Alex while we were on the plane to NC for Christmas. (Yes...I had a captive audience. Judge me if you must). At the end of the discussion we both agreed that we wouldn't go the doula-route, but that he would do some reading before the birth.

Back to the book...Ed/Alex picked it up and asked how he could possibly remember everything in that book when it came time to remember it. This is when I LOST MY MIND. I'm shamelessly blaming it on the pregnancy hormones. I immediately decided that he wasn't willing to put in the effort, didn't understand what was involved in giving birth, etc.

Why am I sharing this?

For one, I feel like I should be honest. It's often difficult for anyone who faced infertility to admit that pregnancy isn't all rainbows and puppies all the time. While I'm really enjoying being pregnant, and really believe that I'll miss it...there are moments here and there where it's less then comfortable. And while I haven't been one of those crazy pregnant women they depict on TV, I have had a moment here and there where I just lose it. I've never been perfect, and pregnancy hasn't suddenly turned me into a saint (despite the miracle that may be taking place inside me).

Secondly, I want to point out that none of my concerns had to do with my perceptions about my husband's ability to support me during birth. After we talked it out, I realized how hurt he was when he thought I was saying he wasn't up to the task. Unfortunately, he has been in the position to be an advocate for loved ones in the hospital in the past. He's quite good at it. I've seen first hand how he can navigate the hospital and get answers/results when needed. I think I have just been trying to de-medicalize birth to the point where I didn't want him to have to be an advocate for me or the baby.

I also thought it was interesting that he is more concerned about researching how to be a good parent. He's not at all worried about the birth! I have no doubt about his ability to be a good parent...I have never once thought that he needed to study up on parenting skills!

I have absolutely no doubt that Ed/Alex will be a wonderful birth partner and fellow parent. He's been my rock since we became a couple, and I don't expect that to change. He was there to help me navigate roller coaster that was trying to conceive, and I can assure you that it was no small feat! He has also been incredibly supportive throughout the pregnancy.

I'm not always easy to live with, but he hasn't run away yet! He's able to see past my faults and love me regardless....sounds like he's ready to be a daddy to me!