So, my beta is falling slowly. I just want to move on, but this is dragging out. Also, our lives have been turned upside down and it may not be the best time to keep trying. Not knowing when we will cycle again is actually very stressful. Giving myself shots, going in for frequent appointments...it's all become my new normal. I don't know how I'd do if we had to take a breatk.
We're so very worried about our ill loved one. Because of this, I feel horrible for being sad for our loss. On one hand, I wasn't carrying a baby for months, and we found out that we weren't going to stay pregnant only a few days after the first test. However, thinking about the fact that we were going to have a baby was something positive that we could hold onto despite the fact that everything else seemed to be going so wrong.
I've wanted to be a Mommy for as long as I can remember. I don't just want to have babies. Yes, they're cute, cuddly, innocent, and new. Having a baby would be an exciting (albeit exhausting) time. But I want to have children and watch them grow into young adults. I want to try to guide them in the world the best we can, and I want to witness their personalities bloom. I know it will happen one day, but right now I just feel so defeated.
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